What is Holding Your Child Back?

What is Holding Your Child Back?

 

Last year, I wrote an article that talks about finding a system of education that works for one’s family, and the importance of identifying a student’s driving motivation, to help make the teaching process easier and also to help increase retention of material learned. Since there is evidence that a student learns better about subjects for which they have an interest, this is a practical strategy for making the education process easier for everyone.

 

Understanding a student’s struggles can be just as important as knowing what motivates them.

 

          There can be several different reasons why students may struggle to learn, even about things they should be interested in. It is important to address these as they are identified, and to try and mitigate them as much as possible, because they all feed into the amount of confidence a student has, and confident students perform better.

         

If your child struggles with learning, answering the following questions may help to isolate the problem so adjustments can be made.

 

Is the student getting enough sleep at night? More than that, are they getting restful sleep? It is possible that a child may be sleeping enough hours but not getting sleep that is making them wake up refreshed in the morning. If a child mouth breathes, moves a lot in their sleep, struggles with sleep apnea, or wakes constantly during the night, these things can be signs that they are likely not getting the sleep they need and it can lead to several issues involving focus, mood, regulation of emotion, and more.

For our children, we have done a variety of things to help improve sleep, including palate expanders (to open airway and make room for adult teeth); chiropractic care (helps improve nervous system function so signals can travel through the body with ease); limit screen time- especially before bed, magnesium supplementation in the form of Epsom salt baths or body butter on their feet (I make an all-natural magnesium body butter that works very well for inducing sleep in wired children and adults and it can be found here), limit sugar and caffeine (good health practices for total body wellness), and occasionally a relaxing tea, such as chamomile or lavender, or a homeopathic remedy like calcarea carbonica if their minds just won’t slow down.

Does the student have a different learning style than the one being used to teach them? Some students learn by seeing things, hearing things, or by participating in activities or moving. A student who learns best by seeing things will struggle to internalize information if it is only told to them. A student who learns by actively doing will not learn as well if they see it on paper or even in a video demonstration. Most students benefit greatly from hands-on, immersive environments because they utilize all of their different learning faculties in these settings and can come away with something regardless of their learning strengths. This is why we try to teach in a hands-on way whenever possible, whether it is through baking, talking about money management, good business practices, etc. There is usually a bigger picture- and end goal- and the smaller subjects are treated as a means-to-an-end, rather than an end in themselves. Understanding the context where something would be used can help greatly with retention.

This applies to children who are so-called dyslexic, or ADHD, as well. They may not do well with education in the conventional sense, but they have their own strengths that are amazing to witness when those strengths are recognized and utilized to their fullest potential. This not only reduces frustration, but also increases confidence for the student, and is especially important if the student has historically struggled to do things “they way everyone else does.”

Is my child afraid to fail? This can be a very difficult trait to identify because it can manifest in different ways- it can look like lack of interest, protesting when asked to perform, refusing to try, etc. Ultimately, it is a form of anxiety for the perfectionist child- the one who wants to be good at things but is reluctant to try for fear they may not be good enough. For our student who struggles with this, Arsenicum Album has proven to be very helpful to help overcome that anxiety so she’s more willing to try. We also make it a practice to remind our kids that we all learn through trying, and practice makes us better. No one is a master of anything the first time, and we also want our kids to see us trying things we aren’t good at so they feel like they can be bad at things, too. Our children watch us very closely, and our actions speak volumes, so it is essential that our actions match the words we are saying to our kids, even if it is a blow to our pride at times. I DON’T want my kids to think I know how to do everything; I want them to see me trying to learn new things and get better at the times I’m not very good at. Because, I want them to be brave enough to do those things, too.

         

You can find more information about these subjects and more in my book: The Science of Homeschooling

 

 

*Note: None of the information here should be taken as medical advice, it is intended as ideas for parents to research on their own in managing their children’s unique situations

** Contains Affiliate Links

Tips for Making Your Self-Care Plan Budget-Friendly

Author and blogger Kristy Crandall provides encouragement on the bad days, sources of

inspiration on the good days, and a reminder that you are not alone in your

homeschooling journey. Connect with Kristy today to learn more!

Guest post by: Douglas Summers

With the current economic climate, it can be difficult to find ways to practice self-care

when you’re on a budget. However, there are several simple and affordable ways that

you can take care of yourself without breaking the bank. For better self-care that won’t

break the bank, explore these terrific tips, courtesy of author and blogger Kristy

Crandall.

Discover Ways to Cut Costs

One of the best ways to practice self-care when you’re on a budget is to reduce your

spending. Try setting a budget for yourself or even refinancing your home so that you

have more money available for other things. This will help ensure that you don’t

overspend and will also free up some additional funds for other activities that promote

self-care such as going out with friends or taking time off from work.

If you are currently renting, look for a new place that is a better value to help reduce

costs. Even if the apartment itself is the same cost, consider factors like a free on-site

gym that could allow you to cancel an expensive gym membership, or proximity to work

to lessen gas and other commuting costs. Or perhaps you would have a laundry unit so

you won’t have to pay for a laundromat every week. All of these factors can help you to

reduce unnecessary costs.

Disconnect from Social Media and the News

It is important to stay informed, but as Lancaster General Health notes, too much

exposure to news and social media can be overwhelming. As part of practicing self-care,

consider taking a break from these outlets at least once per week (or more if needed).

This will give you time away from all the noise while allowing you to focus on yourself

and what truly matters.

The Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is a great way to relax and take care of yourself without having

to spend any money. It helps clear away stress and anxiety while promoting an overall

feeling of well-being. You can find many free guided meditations online as well as

helpful videos on how to meditate properly, so it doesn’t cost anything but your time.

Pursue Professional Health Services

Medical professionals can help with a variety of things that could help you to feel

happier and healthier. Plus, most medical services are covered under insurance, so they

are budget friendly. If you don’t have insurance due to the expense, look into your

state’s subsidized programs. Once you have a policy in hand, look into services like

nutritional counseling, physical therapy, and psychological services.

Interact with Your Loved Ones

Social Self explains that socializing with friends and family is a great way to practice

self-care while also living on a budget. Texting, calling, video chatting, or even meeting

up in person are all free ways to connect, where meaningful conversations, laughter,

and stories can be shared. Taking the time to engage in these activities is an important

form of self-care that doesn't require spending any money.

Explore Free Activities Near You

There are usually lots of free activities in every area such as concerts, art shows,

festivals, etc. Taking advantage of these events is another great way to practice self-care

while living on a budget. Take some time off work or school, dress up nicely, and attend

one of these events with friends or family (if possible) so that everyone can have fun in

an affordable way.

Another free activity that can take place virtually anywhere is walking. Regular walking

can help maintain a healthy weight, improve cardiovascular health by reducing the risk

of heart disease and stroke, and enhance lung function. It also strengthens muscles,

improves balance and coordination, and supports joint health. Find an area with a high

Walk Score of 70 and above and make walking one of your healthy habits.

Take Up Dance

Dancing can be a key element in your self-care plan. It’s a full-body exercise involving

rhythm and mindfulness. Combining all the best elements of both exercise and

meditation, it’s something you can do affordably and whenever it fits into your schedule.

Take some classes to find new moves, but apply them whenever you want – just put on

your favorite upbeat playlist and get moving!

Start Gardening

If you're looking for something calming yet productive, then consider taking up

gardening. Gardening has been found to reduce stress levels while providing

therapeutic benefits such as improved mental health due to increased exposure to

nature and green space. Start small by purchasing seeds from any local garden center or

nursery, then you can let online tips from plant-focused sites point you in the right

direction regarding soil types, fertilizer, and natural alternatives to pesticides.

If you’re brand new to gardening, you’ll learn that some plants benefit from companion

planting. Companion plants are grown together to benefit one another, which could lead

to lower water consumption and lower expenses in the long run.

Care for Yourself and Your Budget

Living on a budget doesn't have to mean sacrificing quality self-care practices. There are

plenty of affordable options available if you're willing to look for them. Taking cost-

cutting measures (like refinancing) as needed, attending free activities in your area,

picking up dancing, and taking up gardening are all simple ways to stay healthy while

spending less. All of these tips can help anyone looking for cost-effective ways to remain

calm during difficult economic times.

Peace for a World at War

 The world is in chaos. 

Countries are firing missiles at one another; governments are struggling to control divided, and increasingly less cooperative, populations; people are up in arms against each other, and truth is evasive. 

The world needs Jesus. 

I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day, who spoke of peace as the ultimate ideal. Of course, everyone wants peace. Everyone wants to go to sleep at night knowing that they and their loved ones will wake up the next day to a world they want to live in. And yet, peace is evasive. 

Take the current border crisis, for instance. There are two main ideologies in America, and two others involved. The first, says that everyone deserves the luxuries our country has to offer, and everyone should be welcomed and treated as citizens; the second, recognizes the desperation of those who are trying to come here, but also knows that there's no way our country could care for everyone without quickly becoming like the country they were escaping from. The second group thinks it necessary to limit the number of people allowed to come to America, to protect everyone involved, and to ensure that we continue to stay in a position where we can supply humanitarian aid to others. Both groups ultimately want the same thing, but their perceived "best method" is different. Even in the quest for peace, there is conflict. 

The other two groups involved are those chasing the hope of a better life for themselves and their families, and those who are set on exploiting those who are desperately pursuing a better life. Politicians quarrel amongst themselves as to the best course of action, Americans bicker about what SHOULD be done and who should decide, and meanwhile families are torn apart and children are abducted and sold to be trafficked in our country or others. Who is the real enemy? Well, the real enemy is Satan, but we have become so nearsighted that the people we're most at odds with are our neighbors who simply don't agree on the best course of action. Even though we share a common goal.

So, what do we do? How do we fix something that is so utterly broken? The short answer is, we can't. Not alone. But, if we can begin to extend love and grace to others- as Jesus said- then things will start to change. 

Our society has decided that it's important to teach people, from the earliest age, all the way they can be hurt and just how entitled they are to lash out in pain and resentment and hate. The truth is, every one of us has been hurt; and, every one of us has hurt people we love. Every one of us has had something we said misunderstood or misinterpreted to cause unintended harm. 

Where does that leave us? If we do what we are told- and if we make sure everyone knows just how badly we have been wronged- it will lead to more hurt and more pain and more animosity. No one will ever win. Perhaps this is why Paul wrote, "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14)

This is a foreign concept to a lot of people, and it's becoming more so as God is forcefully removed from schools, and eradicated from more and more parts of society. 

It's an unfortunate thing, but it has been the pattern of civilizations throughout time. Since the first man and woman rebelled against God in the Garden of Eden, people and groups and dynasties have risen up under God, rejected Him, and in the midst of their demise they cry out to God and He rescues them. Those who don't cry out to God for forgiveness are destroyed. 

There is nothing "progressive" about our culture now. Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for similar "progressive" ideas just a few hundred years after the world was formed. People have not "evolved," they're just lost again.

The point I am trying to make, is that we have been blaming each other for things that are rooted- not in "bad blood," but in evil that has been allowed to run rampant for too long. In the Bible, Paul writes, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm." (Ephesians 6:10-13) 

Until we can stop treating each other with animosity, which won't be possible until our focus is on something other than ourselves, the chaos and the hatred and the pain will continue to fester and spread. 

I am praying for the heart of each and every person who reads this post- that you will know the truth, and your heart will be stirred. That you will begin to ask questions and search out the REAL answers. That your heart will be changed.

If you already know Jesus, then I pray that you will be encouraged. Because, what is happening now is nothing new. It has happened before, and God is still Sovereign. He will not be "cancelled," (historically, His Truth spreads like wildfire in the midst of oppression), and He has already won. He will bring true unity and peace to our world again. In His time. 

Whoever you are, wherever you are, I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you, and reveal Himself to you in a very real way. "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)

Choosing Thankfulness

                                                 

We started a new tradition this month. On September first, I hung up a tree on our wall, and we've been adding leaves to it every day with things that we're thankful for. It's fun to see what the kids want to add- to get a peek into their beautiful minds at the things that are important to them. Our four-year-old has been especially enthusiastic about cutting and coloring her own leaves, and then telling me what to write on each one. We will keep it up till after Thanksgiving. It's been a nice reminder that, even in the midst of all of the uncertainty and turmoil in the world, we still have so much to be thankful for.

As things seem to spiral further out of control, I am so thankful to know Who is ultimately in control of it all. The world is a dark, broken place, full of evil and pain(Revelation 12); but, we can have confidence and peace (though it is human to be fearful), knowing that Jesus has already conquered evil (Hebrews 2:14-18), and when He returns, it will be as a Warrior King and Judge(Revelation 19:11-21). He will bring home those who have trusted Him to save them; and, once evil is destroyed and the world is made new, we will get to rule the new earth as co-heirs to His inheritance (2 Timothy 2:12). What a beautiful gift, not only to know Who is in control, but to know that He desires such intimate fellowship with us. 

There is beauty that comes from the ashes of such devastating times, and usually it involves people searching for help, realizing that the house they've built on the sand for themselves can be washed away in the smallest storm- that they are never quite as in control of things as they like to think they are. I pray for the hearts of those who do not know Christ, and are frantically clinging to this dying world, because it's all they have. I pray that people will find hope in the promise of salvation, and in knowing that there is so much more to come after this.

I still try to control my reality and I fret about the things I'm unable to change. But, when I take a step back and look at the big picture, I am so thankful that I'm not the one who has to keep this crazy world together. This world will be destroyed. Things aren't going to get better. Until Jesus comes back and rids the world of the evil that currently poisons it.

I am thankful to know how the story ends, and I look forward to the world as it is meant to be, ruling with my Lord, forever.

Anti-Social Media: The Cost of Connections

I was speaking to a friend of mine recently about how we tend to see our flaws more glaringly than others do. And, not only in ourselves, but in things we create- whether we build, sew, bake, craft, paint, write, develop, present, or whatever else we may be doing- if it's something that is of our own design and making, we have a tendency to fixate on the shortcomings to the point that we are almost unable to see the true beauty that it is.

As I pondered this, I couldn't help but consider how this tendency is aggravated by social media, and how our relationships suffer as a result. There have already been numerous studies to support the fact that social media contributes to anxiety and depression. This is a real problem, especially considering its addictive nature. But, beyond just the chemical affect it has on our brains, I can't help but wonder how our relationships suffer- more than we realize. 

Social media is a place to showcase our accomplishments and edit our lives to show the beautiful parts of it. It's a facade- a fake. At best, it's a whitewashed version of reality, and probably more closely resembles fiction. We post things that we think will get attention, and wait for affirmation that others approve of our selections. Then, we are stuck somewhere between the ideal we've crafted for everyone else, and the knowledge that no one will ever really know us for who we are, because who would love the messy parts? 

Worse than that, whether we realize it or not, I think we are often intimidated by the ideals we have of other peoples' lives. "Wow. She has her life together so much more than I do. She wouldn't want to be my friend." Or, "I don't want him to know that this is something I struggle with, because he clearly doesn't and he'd think less of me if he knew." 

What are we doing? Are we really such gluttons for punishment that we are happy to set up a fake life to match all the other fake lives out there, just so we can pretend to be friends and live in total isolation? Neighbors used to know each other, visit each other, talk and commune together. It was less about political views and more about having relationships with the people you spend most of your time in close proximity to. It was about looking out for each other, and knowing that you would have help in a crisis; it was about living life. Together.

Suicide is on the rise. Depression, anxiety, and other struggles are on the rise. Clearly, there isn't enough quality help for everyone. Or, those who need help aren't willing to admit it. Do you know your neighbors well enough that you'd be comfortable calling them in an emergency? Would they call you? Do you know their routines well enough that you would recognize if they didn't leave the house for a day or two? I admit that I don't, but I would like to. 

Not everyone can be an expert in psychology. But, I think, not everyone needs a therapist. Maybe, just maybe, a lot of people just need a real friend. If all of us were intentional about the way we lived our lives with the people who live within walking distance of us; if our neighbors knew that they could call us when they felt like popping pills, maybe fewer people would feel that urge in the first place. 

I could be wrong. I'm not an expert. I don't have credentials. But, I do know that, for living so close together, most of us live very isolated lives- now more than ever. If we could start to change that where we live, I think it would do us all a lot of good.